My Dearest Ruthi Ann,
You are what they call a "middle child". I remember the day we sealed your fate! Possibly because out of the 4 children I have, you were the ONLY one I specifically planned for! After three devastating miscarriages, I was ready to embrace your life with open arms. Needless to say you were my most complicated newborn, and we all share those stories to this day! How could something so beautiful cry so MUCH? I lived in survival mode for the first 3 months of your life. By 3 months old when you began to mumble "mama" those endless nights became vague quite quickly. But nothing prepared us for the terrible 2 stage! From the very beginning you wanted to prove yourself! You were strongly independent! At times, you made me question if I wanted that fourth child. Not that I didn't embrace your personality. Believe me! We did! Everything from your sassy personality to your obsession with killer whales.
Then the day came out of no where. I realized you were no longer my youngest. I almost felt instant guilt looking at you thinking "Will she hate me? Will this break our mom and baby bond? Can I possibly love another baby as much as you?" But I watched you grow before my very eyes. More like blossomed! You became a nurturer. Looking after your new baby sister. You let go of your shyness. You somehow inherited this amazing sense of humor! Not to mention developed your Gee Gee's ability to talk someone's ear off! My sweet shy Ruthi.... grew up to be a social butterfly <3
I know it is not easy being the middle child. At times you probably feel pushed aside. If I could count how many times I've shouted "Just give it to her Ruthi" or "Ruthi just let her sit in my lap" "Ruthi I will talk to you in a minute, Hope needs me" ..... I could probably count to a million, huh? Every time we try to connect and have an intimate moment, it is interrupted with a jealous 4 year old pushing you away screaming "get away from my mama" On the other spectrum, you are the younger sister annoying the older two. You just can't catch a break can you, baby?
Let me tell you, as your mother what I see in you my middle child! I have never known a little girl at your age to be so in tune with your spirit and have such compassion for people. As your own mom I walk away from you feeling encouraged. What 9 year old encourages their mom? You have an inner warrior within you child. Don't ever mistake that tender heart of yours as weak. God has such a special call on your life. Already at age nine you are reading your bible on a school bus having kids ask you to read it to them. You tell your friends that you enjoy listening to music that talks about loving God. You constantly put the hearts of others before your own because seeing other people happy makes YOU happy. You are a light to everyone who knows you. Your sweet spirit is infectious and leaves everyone so honored to know you. And I get to call you my daughter!
You may feel like you are in an unfair situation sometimes. But look at it like this. You have two older siblings paving your way tackling fights with your parents you will not have to face. Well, or at least prepare you to face, ha ha! All the while you get the privilege of setting an example and nurturing the little sister that walks in your shadow.
No matter where your place is at in this family, you are the perfect fit for me!